††† My Thoughts on Step Eight
'Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all'
The first parts is easy we simply need take pen and paper and make a list of the people I have wronged this list can never be complete I can always find new amends to make down the road why we have step ten
The Step does say all which means everyone we can think of all people places and things I started with my fourth step inventory and just listed the people I outlined in there the ones who I need to make the amends to the most
But that was not a real complete inventory of harms done Just as complete as I could make it at that time as time went on other people came to my mind that I harmed in some way they now had to be added to my list
I had to break up this list in parts like Financial Romance Self-importance Itís the part of the Step that often causes problems looking at all the ways I harmed people places and things My Ego got in the way a lot in the beginning
I found to get even close to being willing To make amends to my ex employers my creditors most of the people in my inventory It became obvious I was not letting go of my anger and not looking at my part in things only theirs POOR ME! Attitude really hurt me a lot because I feared looking at me
†Step eight †it acts as a second inventory and let's me know what work I still need to do on me and my attitudes It was awhile before I could really see and accept my part in my failures not blaming others for the mistakes I caused in the first place
The Step took me down to where my own self-esteem and self-righteous attitude got to the boiling point Family was difficult because it's so easy to see where and how I had been wronged many times But again forgiveness came into play there I had to forgive them so I could move on
This is not about how I was wronged by the others in my way of thinking with a drunken attitude even if I have been wronged I had to work through those feelings Before I could get to my part in what happened and how I needed to make the amends not them
Getting to this part is an absolute must Itís the only way I can gradually build up a true picture of my sober attitudes of myself With willingness and asking for help at meetings from my sponsor and from God as I today understand Him
My actions became clear and bit-by-bit I looked even more into MY PAST what a powerful step!
More importantly I was moving toward taking true responsibility for my past and really got down to looking at the real harms I caused when active in my drinking I was now willing to make the amends
It is the beginning of the end of isolation from our fellows and from God.
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