MY ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ON STEP NINE
"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
1. Why is a tranquil mind a requisite for good judgment of us?
By looking objectively at what we are about to embark upon it is best to approach this with an open mind and being at peace with ourselves this way we can put our resentments aside and look at what part we played in the harms done to others as well as to ourselves
2. In what ways is good timing important in making our amends?
Timing is everything in making the amends we need to look over our list and for me take it to my sponsor for guidance some of the amends I had to make very well could have injured others
Some could have even got me locked up or fired leaving my wife and kids with out support
3. What is Courage?
Courage is being brave the ability to face danger difficulty uncertainty or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a course of action for me this was making all the amends I can make where ever possible and in a timely fashion when every possible in person or by letter our by silent prayers to those who have passed on
4. Does prudence mean taking calculated chances in making amends?
Prudence means good sense in practically managing matters we are about to undertake to evaluate situations carefully so as to avoid risk of hurting ourselves or others in the process good sense came from my asking advice from my sponsor as to who I should make the amends to and who it was best to let go because it could hurt them
5. Do our amends begin when we join the program?
My amends did even before AA it started when I told my mom I am going into treatment for help with my problems with alcohol was the first time I saw my mother cry with tears of joy before it was tears of pain for all the crap I had put her thru I remember when I first got sober she offered to buy a battery for my car I told her no I have taken to much from you in the past I will get a battery when I start working again That very afternoon I received a check in the mail from my insurance company for 50 dollars rebate for my car insurance the exact amount I need for the battery to this day I have never received another rebate from any insurance company. Grace of God I knew so
6. Why do we think peace of mind can be bought at the expense of others?
I learned very early in recovery that until I could set aside my fears and shortcomings that I could never have peace of mind making someone else look bad does nothing for my personal feeling it only makes matters worst than they were before I open my big mouth and then more amends would have to be made
7. How important is our need for discretion in taken step nine?
Discretion is the good judgment and sensitivity needed to avoid embarrassing or upsetting others
Given me the freedom to decide just what amends I needed to make by making a decision about the amend and the ability to keep sensitive information secret so as not to hurt another
8. Are we ready to take consequences of our past mistakes?
This is the final step in cleaning up the wreckage of our past and yes this is the best way to take whatever comes our way not everyone is going to accept our amends some might forgive us but will be unable to forget the harms we did to them steps four thru nine as taken a look at ourselves and being willing to change who we were to become who God wants us to be
9. Are we ready to now take responsibility for well being of others?
Today the well-being of others is all our responsibility in the program whenever anyone reaches out a hand for help it is my responsibility to be there to carry the message of love and hope I was given when I reached out for help God in His grace gave me the tools to become a man of honor and dignity and to be able to always think of other as I think of myself
The Golden rule, " do unto others as you would have them do unto you"
The Silver rule, " be as good to yourself as you are to others"
The Bronze rule, "never do for another what they can do for themselves