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With In Myself

 

If I expect to recover I must be willing to trust in God and clean my own house

 

Fear and anger is what kept me from the help I needed with anger I could hide the fear

 

I needed to lift the mask of anger so I could start to work on my fears

 

I wouldn't let anyone get close to me I feared if I did they would know how much I was hurting

 

It was easy to tell everyone I was all right I didn't need help I didn't need them in my life

 

I could never let anyone see me cry I would smile on the outside

While I was crying on the inside

 

No way would I let anyone know the truth about the fearful child with-in me

Wanting to keep God out

 

He was a master at hiding whom and what I really was

he showed me how to lie and be deceitful

 

When I lied I had to live in those lies I started to believe those lies

So now I had to live in more lies

 

Never to find real friends or to know what real love was

Until I discovered the God of my understanding

 

Unconditionally loving and all forgiven even knowing what I was how Deceitful

I was He still loved me

 

He will always let me feel the pain and loneliness whenever I choose to walk away from Him

 

But when ever I start walking toward His light I can again turn my life and will over to His care

 

He will again relieve me of the pain and fears all I need is to seek His love and forgiveness

 

He will help me work for my recovery He will help me discard all my old ways of living

 

All I need to do is accept His gift of desperation that freedom from bondage from my hell

 

Yes I let that child with-in go find and loving and caring God who is always with-in my heart

 

He forgave me and I must not judge or condemn others

I must share His unconditional love with them

 

You people gave me real everlasting friends to help me see what I could not see for myself

 

I have found God is truly unconditional love He will provide everything I need to live

 

His love is all I need to insure my own serenity in the spirit in harmony with the Him

 

My Gods love be with-in your hearts

 

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