STEP
FOUR
"Made a searching and fearless
moral inventory of ourselves."
Fearless moral inventory right well
fearless alone scared the crap out of me never mind moral
My first attempt was looking at things others
did to me, every thing I perceived they did
Not too much about how I treated others
or any of the real wrongs that I did to them
I had a very negative way of taken a
look at myself after all I was the victim not them
When I started doing the fourth step I started
by writing out all the things that happened
I began to see how wrong I had been how
I hurt so many people in my drunken ways
I did not like what I saw looking at
myself and all the crap I put others thru when drinking
I know now I did not have any acceptance
of anyone else’s feelings until I arrived in the halls
I was an angry, broken, twisted,
hopelessly lost person drowning in that bottle of booze
I did not like looking at how I was at
fault trying to control everyone and every thing in my life
I wanted everyone to look up to me love
me and have respect for me even when I lied to them
I demanded too much from them I was
playing God with the lives of everyone around me
It was really a drunken stupid one-sided
relationship I had with the whole world
I was told to look at what part I play
in all this mess of crap I wrote out still blaming others
I was told to start over and do it right
after all moral is what’s right and wrong in you
And your attitude not in those you
perceived did you wrongs to you in your life
Had to start a list of all the people
that I harmed planning to make amends to them later
Looking at the fearless part for all the
wrong things I did write down in this inventory
I had to also look at as many positive
things that happened in my life real hard to do
When you think you’re a piece of pond
scum hopeless uesless not worth any thing
Well the positive kept me balanced and
focused on the meaning of the inventory
I had to look at all of the good in my
life to balance off all the sick things I did drinking
Was a long time accepting I could change
and become the person God wanted me to be?
But I had to find that acceptance of
myself and be willing to change the person I was
I had to learn how to forgive myself and
also to ask forgiveness from those who I hurt
This was to help me get the stuff out of
my head and on paper where I can't project on it
Only then would I be able to honesty
share it with another human being in my fifth step
It was the beginning of accepting
forgiveness moving on with my new life walking with God
Keeping an attitude of gratitude with an open
mind is what I strive for in this new life
I don't know what Gods plans are for the future
but I am glad to be part of them today
God does know who I am and what I have done and
He has already forgiven me
God has worked wonders in my acceptance
of myself and of others in my life
He keeps me right sized and I like being
just another bozo in the middle of the bus
I pray you can find the strength to look
into your pass and change as I have
God Bless LT30Al
Page written
and Designed by AL__LT 30
