Self Pity
Self pity almost got me killed out there was great
at blaming others for all my problems
And all that did for my was get me into a state of
hopelessness
Soon everyone was out of my life
And I was left alone with my pitiful self totally
alone in the world
Except for my precious bottle
Sure thought the world came to an end no one was
there for me
I had no control over anything
My wife hated me and threw me out the kids were
afraid of me
Never know what I was going to be like when I came
home
Yes I was a very pitiful mess before I found AA and
thank God I did find these halls
All the hope that was here for me I never thought I
was that bad
Till I started to listen to all the shares
BOY how I could relate to most of them how
I had
to control everything and everyone in my life
Right control, as we all know when you need to
control things
You are already out of control
When I started to look at the wreckage of my past
In the
fourth step self pity cropped up
I could not believe the damage I had caused with my
drunken attitude
Towards people places and things
Went into a depression and my EGO was completely
deflated
I felt lower than pond scum
Totally ashamed of myself and did not think I was
deserving of anything
Anyone had to offer
My sponsor said to me if anyone waited till they
deserved what
God has
freely given us none of us would ever sober up
He was right God granted me this wonderful gift of
sobriety
When I turned to Him he forgave me and gave me a
second chance
At life on His terms
Sure I felt low when I started that fearful fourth
step
But by
the time I shared it with my sponsor
Things started to turn around for the better
I truly had that new freedom and happiness
Sobriety took the self-pity away after I got honest
with God
And my sponsor about myself
Today I thank God for His gift of desperation
He gave
me so I could find hope
It is a wonderful gift from God
Anyone can have just turn over you will to HIM
God bless you all
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