My
Thoughts on Step Two
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
Step
two "came to believe" was a process of finding this power greater
than myself this happened over time first I came I showed up and stumbled in
the door of Alcoholics anonymous hopelessly lost in my alcoholism having no
other place to go full of fear and despair
I
came and sat in the rooms slowly and surely my mind began to clear up I began
to have hope then as more and more people told their stories this hope was
reinforced by what I had heard hope yes but still I need to being convinced of
this loving God of alcoholics anonymous
And
when I can see hundreds of others doing the things they are asking me to do and
getting well then I have to make a choice I have to either believe they are
telling me the truth or that I am the only sane human still alive on the face
of the earth
I
came to my senses and began to experience some emotional sobriety when I
finally came to believe is when my real recovery began it was a process my
spiritual growth was determined only by knowledge of your God as I was
beginning to understand
With
the presence of a power greater than myself I began to find a little faith at
first it is only the faith of the fellowships believe in their God If one
person tells me something I can call it a lot of crap but when many people in
recovery tell me it’s true I have to pay attention
The
only thing that seems essential to me in working step two is that I could not
be absolutely close-minded and refuse to either believe or to take any further
action for me there was no hope until I started to change my attitude thru my
actions
For
some people, spirituality is dramatic for most however it is very gradual as
one grows and matures emotionally one also grows spiritually before I could
accept a new Power to restore me to sanity I will had to engage in some
emotional and spiritual housecleaning
I
admitted I was not God and need to stop pretending to play God I had to grow
beyond selfishness and grandiosity I also had to stop putting other people
places or things in the role of gods I needed to overcome sources of bitterness
toward my old belief in God
I
have had negative experiences with churches with the hypocrisy bigotry
condemnation I was in conflict and struggling with a sense that God has failed
me that He has allowed me to go down the wrong path of life not ever thinking
it was my free will that caused all my pain
I
was angry that God had not instantaneously healed me after my first not so
humble attempt at prayer but when I did honesty and humbly asked He did take
the desire to drunk from me this was when I commit myself to a life of recovery
I
really wanted to fill the void wanted to break down the barriers hindering my
progress so I needed to turn to the ultimate source in my case the God I became
to understand in AA the god of unconditional love compassion understanding and
most of all forgiveness
So
it is action that returned me to sanity the action of changing my attitudes and
false beliefs of who I thought I was and how I tried to change every thing and
everyone around me with my mind open I saw the program working for me I needed
this fellowship of warm and loving people
Page written
and Designed by AL31
STEP THREE
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