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††† My Thoughts on Step Two

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.


Step two "came to believe" was a process of finding this power greater than myself this happened over time first I came I showed up and stumbled in the door of Alcoholics anonymous hopelessly lost in my alcoholism having no other place to go full of fear and despair


I came and sat in the rooms slowly and surely my mind began to clear up I began to have hope then as more and more people told their stories this hope was reinforced by what I had heard hope yes but still I need to being convinced of this loving God of alcoholics anonymous


And when I can see hundreds of others doing the things they are asking me to do and getting well then I have to make a choice I have to either believe they are telling me the truth or that I am the only sane human still alive on the face of the earth


I came to my senses and began to experience some emotional sobriety when I finally came to believe is when my real recovery began it was a process my spiritual growth was determined only by knowledge of your God as I was beginning to understand


With the presence of a power greater than myself I began to find a little faith at first it is only the faith of the fellowships believe in their God If one person tells me something I can call it a lot of crap but when many people in recovery tell me itís true I have to pay attention


The only thing that seems essential to me in working step two is that I could not be absolutely close-minded and refuse to either believe or to take any further action for me there was no hope until I started to change my attitude thru my actions


For some people, spirituality is dramatic for most however it is very gradual as one grows and matures emotionally one also grows spiritually before I could accept a new Power to restore me to sanity I will had to engage in some emotional and spiritual housecleaning


I admitted I was not God and need to stop pretending to play God I had to grow beyond selfishness and grandiosity I also had to stop putting other people places or things in the role of gods I needed to overcome sources of bitterness toward my old belief in God


I have had negative experiences with churches with the hypocrisy bigotry condemnation I was in conflict and struggling with a sense that God has failed me that He has allowed me to go down the wrong path of life not ever thinking it was my free will that caused all my pain


I was angry that God had not instantaneously healed me after my first not so humble attempt at prayer but when I did honesty and humbly asked He did take the desire to drunk from me this was when I commit myself to a life of recovery


I really wanted to fill the void wanted to break down the barriers hindering my progress so I needed to turn to the ultimate source in my case the God I became to understand in AA the god of unconditional love compassion understanding and most of all forgiveness


So it is action that returned me to sanity the action of changing my attitudes and false beliefs of who I thought I was and how I tried to change every thing and everyone around me with my mind open I saw the program working for me I needed this fellowship of warm and loving people


Page written and Designed by AL31






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