"Were entirely ready to have God remove all
these defects of character."
"This is the Step that
separates the men from the boys." So declares a well-loved clergyman who
happens to be one of A.A.'s greatest friends. He goes on to explain that any
person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try repeatedly Step Six on
all his faults--without any reservations whatever--has indeed come a long way
spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is sincerely
trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator.
Of course, the often disputed
question of whether God can--and will, under certain conditions--remove defects
of character will be answered with a prompt affirmative by almost any A.A.
member. To him, this proposition will be no theory at all; it will be just
about the largest fact in his life. He will usually offer his proof in a
statement like this:
"Sure, I was beaten, absolutely
licked. My own willpower just wouldn't work on alcohol. Change of scene, the
best efforts of family, friends, doctors, and clergymen got no place with my
alcoholism. I simply couldn't stop drinking, and no human being could seem to
do the job for me. But when I became willing to clean house and then asked a
Higher Power, God as I understood Him, to give me release, my obsession to
drink vanished. It was lifted right out of me."
In A.A. meetings all over the world,
statements just like this are heard daily. It is plain for everybody to see
that each sober A.A. member has been granted a release from this very obstinate
and potentially fatal obsession. So in a very complete and literal way, all
A.A.'s have "become entirely ready" to have God remove the mania for
alcohol from their lives. And God has proceeded to do exactly that. Having been
granted a perfect release from alcoholism, why
then
shouldn't we be able to achieve by the same means a perfect release from every
other difficulty or defect? This is a riddle of our existence, the full answer
to which may be only in the mind of God. Nevertheless, at least a part of the
answer to it is apparent to us.
When men and women pour so much
alcohol into themselves that they destroy their lives, they commit a most
unnatural act. Defying their instinctive desirefor self-preservation, they seem
bent upon self-destruction. They work against their own deepest instinct. As
they are humbled by the terrific beating administered by alcohol, the grace of
God can enter them and expel their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to
live can cooperate fully with their Creator's desire to give them new life. For
nature and God alike abhor suicide.
But most of our other difficulties
don't fall under such a category at all. Every normal person wants, for
example, to eat, to reproduce, to be somebody in the society of his fellows.
And he wishes to be reasonably safe and secure as he tries to attain these
things. Indeed, God made him that way. He did not design man to destroy himself
by alcohol, but He did give man instincts to help him to stay alive.
It is nowhere evident, at least in
this life, that our Creator expects us fully to eliminate our instinctual
drives. So far as we know, it is nowhere on the record that God has completely
removed from any human being all his natural drives.
Since most of us are born with an
abundance of natural desires, it isn't strange that we often let these far
exceed their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand
that they supply us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or
due us, that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that
God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character defects,
or, if you wish, of our sins.
If we ask, God will certainly
forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He render us white as snow and
keep us that way without our cooperation. That is something we are supposed to
be willing to work toward ourselves. He asks only that we try as best we know
how to make progress in the building of character.
So Step Six--"Were entirely
ready to have God remove all these defects of character"--is A.A.'s way of
stating the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on
this lifetime job. This does not mean that we expect all our character defects
to be lifted out of us as the drive to drink was. A few of them may be, but
with most of them we shall have to be content with patient improvement. The key
words "entirely ready" underline the fact that we want to aim at the
very best we know or can learn.
How many of us have this degree of
readiness? In an absolute sense practically nobody has it. The best we can do,
with all the honesty that we can summon, is to try to have it. Even then the
best of us will discover to our dismay that there is always a sticking point, a
point at which we say, "No, I can't give this up yet." And we shall
often tread on even more dangerous ground when we cry, "This I will never
give up!" Such is the power of our instincts to overreach themselves. No
matter how far we have progressed, desires will always be found which oppose
the grace of God.
Some who feel they have done well
may dispute this, so let's try to think it through a little further.
Practically everybody wishes to be rid of his most glaring and destructive
handicaps. No one wants to be so proud that he is scorned as a braggart, nor so
greedy that he is labeled a thief. No one wants to be angry enough to murder,
lustful enough to rape, gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No one wants to
be agonized by the chronic pain of envy or to be paralyzed by sloth. Of course,
most human beings don't suffer these defects at these rock-bottom levels.
We who have escaped these extremes
are apt to congratulate ourselves. Yet can we? After all, hasn't it been
self-interest, pure and simple, that has enabled most of us to escape? Not much
spiritual effort is involved in avoiding excesses which will bring us
punishment anyway. But when we face up to the less violent aspects of these
very same defects, then where do we stand?
What we must recognize now is that
we exult in some of our defects. We really love them. Who, for example, doesn't
like to feel just a little superior to the next fellow, or even quite a lot
superior? Isn't it true that we like to let greed masquerade as ambition? To
think of liking lust seems impossible. But how many men and women speak love
with their lips, and believe what they say, so that they can hide lust in a
dark corner of their minds? And even while staying within conventional bounds,
many people have to admit that their imaginary sex excursions are apt to be all
dressed up as dreams of romance.
Self-righteous anger also can be
very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the
fact that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of
superiority. Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character
assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to
help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.
When gluttony is less than ruinous,
we have a milder word for that, too; we call it "taking our comfort."
We live in a world riddled with envy. To a greater or less degree, everybody is
infected with it. From this defect we must surely get a warped yet definite
satisfaction. Else why would we consume such great amounts of time wishing for
what we have not, rather than working for it, or angrily looking for attributes
we shall never have, instead of adjusting to the fact, and accepting it? And
how often we work hard with no better motive than to be secure and slothful
later on-- only we call that "retiring." Consider, too, our talents
for procrastination, which is really sloth in five syllables. Nearly anyone
could submit a good list of such defects as these, and few of us would
seriously think of giving them up, at least until they cause us excessive
misery.
Some people, of course, may conclude
that they are indeed ready to have all such defects taken from them. But even
these people, if they construct a list of still milder defects, will be obliged
to admit that they prefer to hang on to some of them. Therefore, it seems plain
that few of us can quickly or easily become ready to aim at spiritual and moral
perfection; we want to settle for only as much perfection as will get us by in
life, according, of course, to our
various
and sundry ideas of what will get us by. So the difference between "the
boys and the men" is the difference between striving for a self-determined
objective and for the perfect objective which is of God.
Many will at once ask, "How can
we accept the entire implication of Step Six?Why--that is perfection!"
This sounds like a hard question, but practically speaking, it isn't. Only Step
One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol,
can be practiced with absolute perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state
perfect ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring sticks
by which we estimate our progress. Seen in this light, Step Six is still
difficult, but not at all impossible. The only urgent thing is that we make a
beginning, and keeptrying.
If we would gain any real advantage
in the use of this Step on problems other than alcohol, we shall need to make a
brand new venture into open-mindedness. We shall need to raise our eyes toward
perfection, and be ready to walk in that direction. It will seldom matter how
haltingly we walk. The only question will be "Are we ready?"
Looking again at those defects we
are still unwilling to give up, we ought to erase the hard-and-fast lines that
we have drawn. Perhaps we shall be
obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...,"
but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"
Let's dispose of what appears to be
a hazardous open end we have left. It is suggested that we ought to become
entirely willing to aim toward perfection. We note that some delay, however,
might be pardoned. That word, in the mind of a rationalizing alcoholic, could
certainly be given a long term meaning. He could say, "How very easy!
Sure, I'll head toward perfection, but I'm certainly not going to hurry any.
Maybe I can postpone dealing with some of my problems indefinitely." Of
course, this won't do. Such a bluffing of oneself will have to go the way of
many another pleasant rationalization. At the very least, we shall have to come
to grips with some of our worst character defects and take action toward their
removal as quickly as we can.
The moment we say, "No,
never!" our minds close against the grace of God. Delay is dangerous, and
rebellion may be fatal. This is the exact point at which we abandon limited
objectives, and move toward God's will for us.
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